For most of my life, I have been accused of being a "sunshiny" person. In fact, people often grew annoyed by my persistent happiness. While I was blessed with a naturally cheerful disposition, looking back, I realize that even then, I was making a choice. Whether conscious or unconscious, I was opting for a positive perspective. Growing up in the 1970s provided a fertile ground for this mindset; my childhood was idyllic, filled with woods to explore, trees to climb, and the freedom to build confidence by figuring things out on my own. I was grateful, free, and unknowingly exercising a muscle of positivity that would one day be put to the ultimate test.
That test arrived in my adult years— a massive, world-rocking upset that plunged me into a deep depression. The specific details of the event matter less than the universal truth it represents: we all face triggers that can shatter our reality. For years, I allowed this event to consume me. I became my "terrible story," repeating it to anyone who would listen until it felt woven into my very cells. My energy vanished, my sleep suffered, and my marriage began to fracture under the weight of the darkness. The sunshiny girl was broken.
The pivot came when a friend suggested a book on successful habits. It wasn't just advice; it was a wake-up call. I realized I was getting bored of my own sadness. The "fulfillment" of being a victim was fading, replaced by a stark realization: whatever you focus on gets bigger. If I focused on the betrayal and the pain, they expanded. If I focused on growth, that too would grow.
This was the first time I truly understood that choosing happiness is not a personality trait; it is a conscious choice made every single minute. I needed to experience that darkness to reveal what had been unconscious for so long—the sheer power of my own agency. I had to learn to monitor my thoughts and observe how they made me feel before, during, and after they occupied my mind.
Being conscious means recognizing when you are holding onto thoughts or events that no longer serve you. It is about the radical act of letting go and shifting your perspective, especially when the world feels heavy. You are not a prisoner of your circumstances or your past narratives. You are the architect of your internal atmosphere. The freedom that comes from choosing a positive attitude during the toughest times is nothing short of divine. If you find yourself lost in a dark story, remember: you have the power to change the channel. Choose to be conscious, choose to let go, and choose to shine.
